Seemantham and valaikappu in Bengaluru

Every 50 more guests add ₹7,500 to ₹30,000, the lunch for them at ₹150 to ₹600 a plate. The priest, the bangles and the decoration stay the same.

For 100 in a hall, add the rent and a stage. A flat seldom seats 100 for lunch, so at 100 you'll likely need the clubhouse or a hall.

A choultry for 200 or more is a wedding hall, and we found no current rent for one. The lunch alone for 200 is ₹30,000 to ₹1.2 lakh. Ask the hall what its rent includes: power, cleaning, the kitchen and its own caterer.

At a temple, the temple runs most of it. ISKCON's Mathura hall on Hare Krishna Hill feeds 100 at a time from its own sattvik kitchen. It lists no rent, so ask for one price for the hall and the lunch, and whether the homa is allowed.

The texts disagree on the month. Vedadhara gives the sixth or eighth month for a seemantham, rarely the fourth. Wikipedia gives the fifth or seventh for a valaikappu, and the seventh or eighth for the seemantham as most families hold it now. FrameFusion, a Bengaluru photographer, says never before the fifth. Her doctor has the last word.

Some families avoid Aadi and Margazhi. Aadi runs from about mid-July to mid-August, and Margazhi from mid-December to mid-January. Ask your elders whether yours does.

Many families do both on one morning: the seemantham with the priest first, then the bangles, then lunch.

1. The evening before

   If the muhurtham is early, the decorator, the flowers and the cook come in the night before. Ask the hall whether that evening costs extra.

2. The muhurtham, usually in the morning

   The priest's homa and the seemantham, in which her husband parts her hair. A Bengaluru photographer puts this part at 90 minutes to 2 hours.

3. After the homa

   The valaikappu. The women put glass bangles on her wrists and bless her.

4. Lunch

   Ask the caterer to make hers milder.

She'll be seated for most of it. Families plan four to six hours in all. Ask for a chair with a back near a bathroom, away from the smoke.

We don't have a priest to send you, so book him yourselves, before anyone else.

The number of priests moves the price most. Ask whether his quote holds the items, his travel and his helpers, or only his fee.

Get his list a week ahead. It tells you what to buy, and someone has to shop for it the day before, so ask him what he brings himself.

Have the envelopes ready that morning: his dakshina, and something for the cook's helpers and the flower man.

For 100, a clubhouse or a big house works if lunch goes in two sittings.

A small hall for the morning costs about ₹10,000 to ₹40,000 for four to six hours, for 60 to 120 people. That's our estimate: no hall we could check publishes its rent for a function like this.

Dream Decor has a small venue of its own, a semi-open space for 40 to 80.

A loudspeaker needs written permission first, at any hour, under Karnataka's order of May 2022. From 10 pm to 6 am it's banned outside closed halls. In Bengaluru the permission comes from a committee under an assistant commissioner of police.

Ask for her food separately. Sri Lakshmi Caterers makes lighter, milder dishes for the mother-to-be at no extra charge, so ask yours for the same.

Pure veg, or no onion and garlic? Authana Caterers cooks with a Brahmin team and does satvik menus with no onion or garlic. Diviskitchen cooks satvik on request.

The traditional leaf. In some Tamil families she's served seven kinds of rice, payasam and a ginger and jaggery laddu to help her digest.

Ask the hall about its kitchen before you book a caterer or a cook, and whether you can bring your own.

• Glass bangles. Red and green, in odd numbers, and each woman adds some as she blesses her. Count the women who'll bless her and buy a few extra for each, a size bigger than she usually wears.
• The jadai. Fresh jasmine wilts fast in a warm hall, so a florist makes it that morning, and someone has to pin it. No florist we found publishes a price, and flowers cost more in a festival week.
• Seer plates. Fruit, sweets, coconut and dry fruit, in odd numbers. Her family often brings them, and the count changes by community, so ask your elders. Decor Your Dreams styles them at ₹1,200 to ₹1,500 a plate and buys what goes on them herself.
• A gift for each woman. Smart Gifter's seemantham hamper, a thali holder with a blouse piece, kumkum and bangles, is ₹280 each, from 15. Kottanz's palm-leaf thamboolam basket is ₹550, and its contents aren't listed.

The same wall and ten plates, worked out two ways. Both come to about the same, so you're choosing between fresh marigold and artificial flowers, and between one decorator and two.

Ask every decorator how many plates their price holds. Decor Your Dreams' stated minimum for flower work is ₹20,000, and her stage in the photo has about 18 plates.

Real flowers or artificial. In one quote, for a swing-and-arch mandap at a naming ceremony, Party Choice priced artificial flowers at ₹35,000 and real ones at ₹50,000.

For balloons, themes and a party after the ritual, see our baby shower guide.

Ask the priest and the hall the same question. If the doctor says rest or the baby comes early, can the date move, and what do you keep?

If something isn't going to plan with someone you booked through us, a person here sorts it out.