--- title: "My Journey: Healing from Anxious Attachment to Secure Relationships" description: "I’m Ayushi. From struggling with anxious attachment to building a secure life, here’s my philosophy on emotional regulation, shadow work, and radical self-love." canonical: https://mytribe.in/theayushimathur/relationship-workshops-retreats/my-journey-philosophy last_updated: 2025-09-15 --- # My Journey: From Anxious Attachment to Self-Love Tribe Verified · 10+ successful retreats from Corbett to Wayanad By [Ayushi Mathur Dua](https://mytribe.in/theayushimathur) · Workshops in major cities & retreats across India · ₹1,699 Per Login (estimate) Part of [Relationship Workshops & Retreats](https://mytribe.in/theayushimathur/relationship-workshops-retreats). [View full gallery](https://mytribe.in/theayushimathur/relationship-workshops-retreats/gallery) I used to chase validation and repeat the same toxic patterns. Here is how I broke the cycle, what I’ve learned from my own shadow work, and why I believe you already have the answers you’re looking for. ## Photos and videos - [Video: I always dreamed of a life where my work would allow me to travel and explore. After trying and failing at many ventures, I'm finally living that dream. My advice: try your hand at everything that calls to you. There are no failures, only lessons.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/044cabba-19dd-4def-becf-4650433be716) - [Video: Why does our generation seem to focus so much on mental health? It's not that we suffer more, but that our basic needs are met, giving us the luxury to climb Maslow's hierarchy and work on love, belonging, and self-actualization.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/be18c690-33e3-4ba5-b9a3-1e08629a1c02) - [Video: If you don't know who you are, the world will tell you. The first step to everything, from better relationships to meeting your goals, is self-awareness. Know yourself, then tell the world who you are.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/1ddd65b4-d808-4dad-92d4-20ab68d7c9ea) - [Video: Someone asked how I'm so confident. Like the dialogue in 3 Idiots, this attitude comes from surviving the fall. When you hit rock bottom and realize you've still got yourself, you stop worrying about what others think.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/59aa394c-1fa1-472c-8de3-8f0f8c93fc0d) - [Video: They lied to us. It's not the journey or the destination that matters most. It's the company you keep. Surround yourself with people who see your light and fan the flames.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/a748f4ce-82a2-4a29-b6fc-e0e6eacd788f) - [Video: We all exist on a spectrum of polarities, like two sides of the same coin. The more we embrace both our light and dark sides instead of judging or rejecting parts of ourselves, the more whole we become.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/bf776655-2961-4a23-9a86-b3350d231b6e) - [Video: Charles Darwin said the species that survive are not the strongest or smartest, but the most adaptable to change. The more you embrace change, the more you will thrive.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/47f912ac-b132-4fe0-81ed-1b066b778959) - [Video: What is happiness? I believe it's not a destination, but a choice. It's the choice to look at your life through a lens of gratitude, which naturally raises your base state of being.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/270a697d-6856-44f8-b781-0026d734dbd2) - [Video: In Vietnam, I wrote down the three affirmations that got me through the last few years: You are loved. You are enough. You are on the right path. Sometimes, that's all we need to remember.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/bf46cdc4-6f9c-4b4e-8853-9dbfbad3a8a7) - [Video: What does spirituality mean to me? It's recognizing that we are all connected by a power greater than ourselves, and that our connection to that power and to each other is rooted in love and compassion.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/2ba8549b-3222-4c24-af58-6e86ef53819a) - [Video: A reminder of the signs that you are on the path to healing. It's a messy process, but if you're letting go, choosing yourself, and finding peace in alone time, you are making progress.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/0b349673-a372-4cf2-9317-f1113384538f) - ![Are you waiting for magic to happen in your life?](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/3857f096-f10a-48a7-8405-91f037c74655) - ![The magic you are searching for is hiding in the work you're avoiding. Take the leap and do the work.](https://assets.mytribe.in/insecure/raw:1/plain/s3://mytribe-assets-production/ae52f5ba-62eb-46a9-a698-804708c2b4c9) ## About My Journey & Philosophy People often ask if I’m 'fixed' now, but that’s the wrong goal. My journey wasn't about reaching a destination; it was about moving from an anxious, people-pleasing attachment style to radical responsibility. I didn't get here by reading books—I got here by sitting through the discomfort of ice baths at my retreats, journaling in Vietnam, and finally learning to trust my own gut instead of looking for validation in others. If you're tired of running from your own patterns, let's talk about how to start your own shadow work. ### Why I Talk About My Own Mess I share my story not to say 'look at me,' but to show you that the 'anxious, clingy one' you feel like today is just a temporary state. I’ve been there—texting all day, needing constant reassurance, and feeling like my worth was tied to someone else’s opinion. My philosophy is built on the belief that we aren't suffering more than previous generations; we just have the privilege and safety to climb higher on Maslow's hierarchy. We are finally at a place where we can actually focus on love, belonging, and self-actualization. ### Radical Responsibility My core teaching is simple: you attract who you ARE. If you want a secure partner, you have to do the work to become secure first. This is what I call 'radical responsibility.' Your relationship is often just a mirror reflecting your own unhealed parts. Instead of blaming your partner for your anxiety, we look at where that anxiety actually comes from—your childhood, your subconscious patterns, and your attachment style. ### The Process My work—whether it’s 1:1 coaching or an intensive LBD retreat in Jim Corbett or Wayanad—isn't about quick fixes. It’s about 'shadow work.' It gets messy. You might cry, you might hate the ice baths, and you might want to quit. But that’s where the confidence is hiding. You don't need more advice; you need to ask yourself the right questions. * **Attachment Styles:** Understanding why you chase what you can't have. * **Emotional Regulation:** Learning how to be with your feelings without suffocating your partner. * **Self-Awareness:** The non-negotiable first step to building a life you actually enjoy. If you are ready to be honest, drop the act, and look at your own reflection, we have work to do. ## About Ayushi Mathur Dua I’m Ayushi. I wasn't always this calm; I used to be the one texting all day, scared of being left. I’ve walked the path from rock bottom to building a secure, independent life, and I’m here to help you do the same. 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